We didn't live in Maine for twenty years without learning anything. Here's our favorite recipe for Lobster Prozac, guaranteed to mellow out even the most obnoxious, boisterous, pretentious foodaholics. It will also make nice people love you.
The trick, of course, is to have fresh live lobsters. But just suppose you do. Actually you can write to Morgana of Downeast Net and she'll tell you where to order direct. Or do a search for lobster dealers.
Boil ten gallons of water, sea water if available. Tell the children to leave the room. Get 10 lobsters from wherever you've been keeping them and put them into the pot. Immediately throw in 12 100 milligram capsules of Prozac. Put the lid on the pot and put a heavy log on top of the lid.
Wait seventeen minutes. The lobsters will make an awful racket at first, but then they will die happy just like we will if we take that much prozac.
Serve at once. The effect is immediate. You don't need the butter. In fact, you don't ever need anything again.
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